When girls cry because of you, you should feel bad but not to bad, cause girls cry. Just cause.

Hey, I'm actually in front of my anatomy book trying to finish my last bits of Pericardium & Heart topic yet my menses is giving me mixed up feels and gloom so I decided to write instead. 

Breaking up from a very long relationship is certainly something traumatic, last night you're both so in love and happy and tonight whenever you bump into each other, the first thing you wanna do is take a gun and shoot your ex right in the head. At least I do. Its hard for you to trust guys again, and all you do is make fun of love, not believing on happy endings and you became cold hearted, nothing makes you cry no more and nothing flatters you. You have this so much hatred in your heart. Your guards are up, cause all you do is trying to protect your heart from being hurt again. Hm, I say, putting your guards up will definitely not gonna break your heart but it sure doesn't make you happy either. You're just left alone between being happy and gleeful or being sad and miserable. You just went numb. 

But you know, break ups are painful but sometimes all you need is a temporary heart breaks than a permanent one. One of the many reason how I went through the break up dengan jayanya is certainly cause of the fear of getting hurt and hurting someone. Of course with a lot of distractions and maturity in dealing with it all along. 

Rebound, people say finding someone else to accompany you through that so called mourning period will in a way helps you to go through it. I say, you are not gonna be happy unless you know how to make yourself happy on your own. Depending on people to make me happy is a no, one of the major lesson I got from my past relationship. See, when I love someone, I love him good. In some ways my past relationship has turned me into a dependent girl, its hard for me to be happy on my own. When my relationship is in good terms, higher chances you'll be seeing a sweet smile carved on my face, if not, expects a frown all day. This is not entirely true though, cause I'm rather a happy go lucky kind of person, in some extend it is. Rebound girl/guy on post break ups is a definite No. You're not gonna break someone's heart after you just broke one right? Have a heart people. 

Well what am I ranting on and on without going anywhere. Just bits of the lessons I learn from my past, and that's it. Nothing much. Hm k bye. 

Finally, my very first post, of my life in Yindia!

Lulz. Going through and reading everything on this blog, have not blog for sometime. Some main reasons are;
I got twitter duhh. Updated every single thing there, and I ran out of things to say on the blog.
I'm in Yindia! Yeay! It has been approx. 4 months haha. I thought having a blog would be the best thing to do assuming I'm flying off to some foreign country, I must have a lot of things to share no?

See...the case is, I actually do have tons thing to speak off and tell yet writing is not a passion for me anymore. I guess. But I do love to write! Just can't give such commitment of a daily blogging quite just yet.

So yeah...what should I speak off of?

About India you mean? Which part of it? The food? The people? The weather? The bad constructed road? Or you want me to talk about the low priced of most stuff here?

I'll share you some pictures and let the pictures speak won't we? Cause I don't really feel like babbling a whole lot more. Just a quick updates!

Btw, I'm blogging this straight from my Galaxy Note II which is super awesome! In some other post (some day maybe insyaAllah when I'm rajin enough, I'll write about my Note II review and how the phone business is carried here in Yindia ;) )

Till then! Chao. 

Desolation, was it? Or was it not.

I would say I'm an interesting girl, its easy for me to make friends, I've no problem to mingle and to come up with topics to talk about to any strangers I met. I can go on and on about anything, you tell me your preferences topic and I can talk about it on and on and I don't even have to know any single thing about it beforehand. So let's just say, I'm friendly. And jovial. Yeah right, lets just stop with the bragging self part right now.

So problem is, why do I always find myself stuck in the lowest level of loneliness? Like major lonely. This is not like, I'm lonely. This is I'm very lonely for god sake someone please be my friend. LOL, ok that's way exaggerative.

When the first time I heard about my offer to further my studies in India, I was like Yeay, I got the scholar! And some excitement, and some more excitement. Ya ya, so as my friends slowly one by one left Malaysia for Egypt, Canada, UK, Jordan and some more countries that I can't think of or seem to remember. Everytime they leave Malaysia, my batchmates/schoolmates would be flocked (I don't think this is the right word to use, I wanna say, berkumpul like gathered sesak sesak, ?? ahh drop it, you know what I meant) at the airport (KLIA) to send em off. Sending someone off for abroad studying may sounds like just another group/friends activities which is almost insignificant to anyone. But you see, for me it is different, it is a sign of how many friends you have, how many are willing to be there for you for your so called farewell.

So for me, I'm definitely frightened and nervous right now of who will be there during my departure, to be true, I don't really have a clique, or a gang. Or anything one should called a group of friends which is guaranteed to be your friends circle. Friends who will definitely/surely visit you when you're sick and are admitted to the hospital, or friends whom you ask to go to vacations with you, who surprise you during your birthday and who are there for you when you cry.

Yes I do have some friends, but you know...not many. I would like to have friends whom I grow old with. Whom I would have brunch or dinner with, whom my kids would look at and say 'mummy's bestfriends'. Guess I haven't really found the right person, or maybe I wan't destined to become those people.

P/s: I'm really jealous of Ted Mosby's and his gang relationship on HIMYM.

P/s: My mum doesn't have a bestie and I surely do not want to end up like her.

P/s: If you donno HIMYM, GOOGLE IT!

I'm starting to think most posts I made is all emotional, urgh, I'm not depressed or miserable, it's just that I write when I am. Love, xoxo.

Me & Colleagues. A pic from 2011.

Big Bang, my ultimate guilty pleasure.

Bigbang - Fantastic Baby Music Video

Been playing this video on repeat since early morning, this video is officially the most viewed Kpop music video 2012 with 34 million views. Proud of the boys, they deserve something like this. They're no doubt the best Korean idol out there. Thumbs up! :)

It's a short post. Enjoy the video! You won't regret it! Love.

Bereh Belako? Oh god why

Baru tengok video paling tak lawak dalam dunia. Tapi lawak jugak sebab konpiden. Bukan lawak sebab lawak, tapi lawak sebab konpiden lawak. Geddit geddit?

Nah. 

Korang takyah tengok sampai habis pun takpe, dah lah video sepuluh minit.

Macam Amir Raja Lawak punya style lawak pun ada gak.

Amir Raja Lawak

Orang paling konpiden dengan lawak sendiri dalam dunia. 

Mungkin aku cuma racist terhadap orang kelantan, atau mungkin tak. Sekian. 

Pardon my negativity.

Can't seem to finish an article, at all. I don't know what is wrong with me, insecurities maybe. Everytime after I wrote something halfway then I decided to go through it one more time and there you go, self esteem gelora remaja whatever attacks, so my brain feeds me negative thoughts and my heart thinks more and more about what people will say when they read my crappy posts. I've like 5 unfinished posts by now, and I really wanna finish them all. But guess I just couldn't.

I'm a person who likes to be liked. I don't really like people to hate me. But you know, last time I checked no one on earth has ever broke the record of being likable by all. So yeah, people hate you and kutuk you here and there, you just had to ignore them.

Thing is also, I don't really dig people seeing my stupidity. That's why I never really finished my posts. Life would be easy when you're just indifferent about everything. Which you should be. Maybe lots of people who knew me might say I'm ignorant, but you know I'm merely faking it. You see, I'm a girl. Girls don't get to be ignorant or indifferent, they're thinkers. They think all the time. 'Who am I gonna end up marrying, is he gonna be good to me, will I ever be happy w him', this all maybe the thoughts on a girl's mind the first time he ever met anyone, and is attracted to him. Well its on my mind at least, and you know how hard I wanna get all those crappy thoughts out of my head.

I can't.

I can't be indifferent, I can't be couldn't care less about what people think of me, I can't upload a picture on facebook and seeing nobody likes it and say 'ah yeah whatever', I can't smile and pretend I'm happy when people come to me asking why my sister is prettier than me.

Its frustrating to be frustrated.

But you know, I hate it when people hate me, I try hard not to be hated. But people just do that, so I just unfollowed or muted them on twitter, never had to see their name and tweets on my timeline for 10 years (exaggeration) and I'll be fine :)

Fake a smile and help someone to fake one too.

Bye.

Mad World

The Glee Project - Mad World #nowplaying.

Never really paid attentions to it's lyrics, I like songs usually by lyrics. But not this one. Was actually waiting for my dad to find his camera charger so I can take pictures of the documents and post them here. So this post can actually be worthy. But he didn't, thus I've no documents photos to post.

It's my very first day on this blog of course I'm excited to write. So pardon me there might me a third or fourth post today.

Here's a funny picture of Ted Mosby with bad tanned. Haha

Well some more rants on why a new blog, hope I don't get away too far or being too frank, or insensitive in any ways. Old blogs have too many of my past relationship memories jotted down so I'm in the process of throwing away them. I'm actually kind of losing my words and directions here, so sorry. I keep pausing here and there maybe it's just the time to stop.

Bye.