When girls cry because of you, you should feel bad but not to bad, cause girls cry. Just cause.

Hey, I'm actually in front of my anatomy book trying to finish my last bits of Pericardium & Heart topic yet my menses is giving me mixed up feels and gloom so I decided to write instead. 

Breaking up from a very long relationship is certainly something traumatic, last night you're both so in love and happy and tonight whenever you bump into each other, the first thing you wanna do is take a gun and shoot your ex right in the head. At least I do. Its hard for you to trust guys again, and all you do is make fun of love, not believing on happy endings and you became cold hearted, nothing makes you cry no more and nothing flatters you. You have this so much hatred in your heart. Your guards are up, cause all you do is trying to protect your heart from being hurt again. Hm, I say, putting your guards up will definitely not gonna break your heart but it sure doesn't make you happy either. You're just left alone between being happy and gleeful or being sad and miserable. You just went numb. 

But you know, break ups are painful but sometimes all you need is a temporary heart breaks than a permanent one. One of the many reason how I went through the break up dengan jayanya is certainly cause of the fear of getting hurt and hurting someone. Of course with a lot of distractions and maturity in dealing with it all along. 

Rebound, people say finding someone else to accompany you through that so called mourning period will in a way helps you to go through it. I say, you are not gonna be happy unless you know how to make yourself happy on your own. Depending on people to make me happy is a no, one of the major lesson I got from my past relationship. See, when I love someone, I love him good. In some ways my past relationship has turned me into a dependent girl, its hard for me to be happy on my own. When my relationship is in good terms, higher chances you'll be seeing a sweet smile carved on my face, if not, expects a frown all day. This is not entirely true though, cause I'm rather a happy go lucky kind of person, in some extend it is. Rebound girl/guy on post break ups is a definite No. You're not gonna break someone's heart after you just broke one right? Have a heart people. 

Well what am I ranting on and on without going anywhere. Just bits of the lessons I learn from my past, and that's it. Nothing much. Hm k bye.