Can't seem to finish an article, at all. I don't know what is wrong with me, insecurities maybe. Everytime after I wrote something halfway then I decided to go through it one more time and there you go, self esteem gelora remaja whatever attacks, so my brain feeds me negative thoughts and my heart thinks more and more about what people will say when they read my crappy posts. I've like 5 unfinished posts by now, and I really wanna finish them all. But guess I just couldn't.
I'm a person who likes to be liked. I don't really like people to hate me. But you know, last time I checked no one on earth has ever broke the record of being likable by all. So yeah, people hate you and kutuk you here and there, you just had to ignore them.
Thing is also, I don't really dig people seeing my stupidity. That's why I never really finished my posts. Life would be easy when you're just indifferent about everything. Which you should be. Maybe lots of people who knew me might say I'm ignorant, but you know I'm merely faking it. You see, I'm a girl. Girls don't get to be ignorant or indifferent, they're thinkers. They think all the time. 'Who am I gonna end up marrying, is he gonna be good to me, will I ever be happy w him', this all maybe the thoughts on a girl's mind the first time he ever met anyone, and is attracted to him. Well its on my mind at least, and you know how hard I wanna get all those crappy thoughts out of my head.
I can't be indifferent, I can't be couldn't care less about what people think of me, I can't upload a picture on facebook and seeing nobody likes it and say 'ah yeah whatever', I can't smile and pretend I'm happy when people come to me asking why my sister is prettier than me.
Its frustrating to be frustrated.
But you know, I hate it when people hate me, I try hard not to be hated. But people just do that, so I just unfollowed or muted them on twitter, never had to see their name and tweets on my timeline for 10 years (exaggeration) and I'll be fine :)
Fake a smile and help someone to fake one too.